Today is the 1 year anniversary of the passing of our dear E.F./Mama. To feel her presence again, our immediate family has been exchanging email memories. We know that there are friends and loved ones reading who miss her as well, so we would like to share some of our memories with you. And if you feel moved to, in turn, share your memories with us, please feel welcome to do so in the comments.
Here is the first one Baba wrote:
Folding and Braiding
When mama first came to visit me at Antioch (I think it was in the fall of ’69), I got hold of a “campus taxi” (someone’s private car that does a side business of going to the Dayton airport), went up to the arrivals section, and there she was, with a backpack of art supplies and dressed very hippy-ish. I was living in a basement apartment off-campus at that time with Luke and Viki Leuba. She was both amused and aghast at my lifestyle, especially the thick, green curtains that I used for bedspreads and the massive amount of pork hocks I cooked on the stove and that Luke and I polished off, along with our homebrew beer. Mama, at that time, was very much macrobiotic, working at the Kushi house in Boston, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the little ones–as well as going to graduate school. But, she was a good sport and just ate what she was comfortable with.
During the days, I would go to class and she would paint (she brought a set of oil paints with her!). One of her paintings was of the rug in my room with a birch walking stick and an evelope. I can’t seem to find that painting anymore. Then, after class, we would go for walks, around the village/town or in the glen (Glen Helen, you can Google images of Glen Helen, Ohio)–a 1,000 acre nature preserve that’s part of Antioch. As we sat on top of a gorge looking at all greenery, mama started to fidget with her hair that was being blown by the wind and asked me to braid it. I was nonplussed because I had never braided hair before. She was incredulous that I didn’t know how to braid and tried to teach me, but I didn’t do such a good job and was slow (sort of like how I was changing diapers for the new babies). So, she lost some patience and re-did the braid herself. But, I did remember her instructions from then on and it came into good use with all our daughters, though I never did get the hang of doing a good tight braid.
One evening, we had to do our laundry and we took a basket of laundry to the local laundromat. We sat outside on the curb as we waited and mama, impulsively took off a silver bracelet that she was wearing and said,”I’m tired of it.” Then she proceeded to throw it away into the street. I was in shock, as I’ve never seen anyone do anything remotely like that. But, that was mama in those days, a soul who lived totally in the now and was utterly true to her feelings of the moment. If I had thought about it a little deeper, I would have thanked God for her impetuousness because otherwise how else would she have decided to take a chance with me? In the load of laundry that dried were a couple of bedsheets (no, not the curtains), we discussed how we could fold the sheets and each took one end and stood away from each other, then we agreed on which end to fold first, until finally, we walked towards each other again to make the ends meet and the sheet became a compact little bundle. That was a magical moment for us because I think we both saw that together we can do things that each would find hard to do alone and we had enjoyed the teamwork. From that day on, mama and I always kept our ritual of folding sheets and, I think, we both would think back to that evening in Yellow Springs each time we folded together. Even towards the end of December last year, mama and I folded sheets one last time and we reminded each other of that first time we performed the task.
January 3, 2011 at 8:49 PM |
And here’s one of my memories:
Mama sang to all of us before bed, so I’m sure we all have our own versions of this memory. Here’s my version:
Being sung to sleep by Mama
Most of the time when I think about being sung to sleep by Mama, I imagine myself in the 4-5 year old range, although I think she sang to me until I was at least 9 or 10. I remember she would lie in the bed next to me, and be so totally focused and into her performance and our interaction. I thought she had the most beautiful voice in the world, and really believed she could have been a professional. I always felt so warm and comfortable with her next to me, and would sometimes hold her hand when she sang, or we would compare hands. I think sometimes she would stroke my hair as well.
I think I was always a bit of a melancholic or dramatic girl, because my favorite songs were always the sad ones, and I used to love to dwell on the futile circumstances of the plots — like the inevitable aging in “the Circle Game”, “Both Sides Now”, or “Que Sera”. One day she introduced a new song (when I was a bit older than 7 I’m sure) “I Still Miss Someone” — it started “At my door, the leaves are falling. A cold wild wind will come. Sweethearts walk by together, but I still miss someone.” That became my new favorite and I would always request it. Songs were so easy to learn when Mama sang them, because she always knew the pitch and words perfectly. In my memory she never seemed to stumble or pause, even when singing every verse. I learned almost all of the songs she sang to me, and if I was awake enough we would sing together. She especially liked to sing songs in rounds, like “White Coral Bells”, and sometimes she would tell me to sing the melody, and she would try to harmonize, which, depending on my mood, I would think was either magical or too troublesome.
I think I was very spoiled, because going to bed I would either get to hear Baba’s wonderful improvised stories, or Mama’s long list of soothing songs. It seems as if she tirelessly sung at least 20 songs at a time. Maybe that’s why I always hated going to bed later on in life, because after such a cushy routine, it can be hard to put yourself to bed and fall asleep!
Here are the songs that I remember she sang to me, from all ages (I’m not sure if I have the titles right, but that’s how we referred to them anyway):
-Tell Me Why (another favorite of mine)
-Down in the Valley
-Row Row Row Your Boat (round)
-White Coral Bells (round)
-Kookaburra (round)
-The Circle Game (we called it “yesterday”)
-I Gave My Love a Cherry
-Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
-Where Have All the Flowers Gone (another sad one)
-Blowin in the Wind
-Baby Beluga (the next few are from my Raffi phase)
-Down By the Bay
-I Like to Eat Apples and Bananas
-Kumbaya
-Puff the Magic Dragon
-Lemon Tree (I think we really liked “Peter Paul and Mary”)
-Rock My Soul (not sure I remember this well, but I sang it on the tape with Baba when I’m 2years old, so Mama must have sung it to me)
-Sarasponda (?)
-I Still Miss Someone