In a perverted way, i owe gratitude to all those who’ve done me wrong. You see, if everyone i meet loves me & accepts me & only gives me good vibes & kindness, then i would not know pain or betrayal or suffering & the happiness that i then would know could only be so deep & so rich. with suffering & pain, the happiness that comes out of it is like a true rainbow because of its full range of emotions. suffering is a color, too, & all great artists have needed it & used it & finally transformed it into a quality, an attitude or atmosphere that honors & lives in the work itself. this is true alchemy. and more and more, i see that my life is a gift to me from the universe, our creator. gratefully, thankfully & happily, i accept this gift with all my being & from this awareness, i have to live my life with joy and celebration and with the remembrance that everything that “belongs” to me in my life comes from the universe & will go back to the universe. for now & as long as i want to be & need to be, i am an embodied soul given the gift of life on earth to give & receive in creative, peaceful & constructive ways, to attain harmony within myself to sing my song in harmony with others & above all, to witness & remember myself in any company or context. i trust & pray that i will with courage & honor to overcome any obstacle or danger that stands in my way of truth & beauty.
Entry from E.F.’s Diary, December 6th, 1982
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